Travis - Melody Maker, August 16, 2000

Psycho Babble

The bassist wants to snog Bowie wearing only a stolen bathrobe! Yum!

If there was a public execution on TV, would you watch?
I think there are public executions on TV anyway. You can't watch CNN for very long without seeing somebody get killed. I think we're all already desensitized. The idea of people being executed on Jerry Springer or something like that is pretty horrible, but I think that seeing people die has already, somehow, become much more accepted in the TV industry and by a lot of people who watch.
What's the most rock 'n' roll thing you've done?
The most cliched rock thing was smashing up a guitar onstage. That happened the day before yesterday, and I was appallingly embarrassed about it the next day. I just threw a tantrum. It was pure frustration because my guitar stopped working during "Flashing Blue Light." But I'd like to apologize to my good friend Jimmy, the guitar tech. He's fixing it for me now.
Could you go into a slaughterhouse and kill a cow?
(Long pause) No, I don't think I could. A friend of ours worked in one, and he's told us too many stories. He said that they kill them with the bolt gun and then put them into a boiling vat so that they can remove the skin. But sometimes he'd seen them being put into the vat when they weren't quite dead. It's horrible. I'm sure slaughterhouses are different nowadays, but I still couldn't do it. I'm a very squeamish person. I just don't think I could handle all the blood and that.
How do you picture your funeral? What songs would you want played?
I'd want there to be a lot of crying to start with, so we'd have to have something that would make people cry--probably [classical piece] Pachelbel's Canon. Then once that had finished, I'd probably put on "Back in Black" by AC/DC to cheer everyone up. That would cover all the bases.
When was the last time you were in a fight, and who won?
I've never actually been in a fight--but I have had the shit kicked out of me. It was when I was in the second year at school, and I walked past someone who was playing some terrible music--Level 42 or something like that. I turned to my friend and said, "What's that shite?" and unfortunately this big guy who was listening to it heard me. He walked up to me with his two pals, said something, and then turned away, and I thought I'd got away with it. But then he said, "Did he call me a wanker?" And of course I hadn't, but his two pals were going, "Aye, he did, he called you a wanker." I didn't have to go to hospital or anything, but it was the day before my 12th birthday and there are all these photographs of me cutting my birthday cake--with two black eyes.
Do you believe in God, and if so, what does he or she look like?
All I believe is that we're all part of one organism, and that's what God is. It's all just energy that can be used in a positive or a negative way. If you could look at it from outside, it would probably look like a huge, glowing lightbulb.
What's the worst thing you've done while drunk?
When I was about 15, me and my friends ran across this car park jumping on all the cars. That was quite bad--mischievous anyway, but the worst thing was that we got arrested, and the fallout from that was terrible. I was dragged home to my parents, and they were very, very disappointed in me. I ended up being grounded for about six months for that.
Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex, and what, if anything, did you do about it?
I had a crush on David Bowie when I was about ten years old. I used to draw record sleeves, but apart from that, I didn't do anything about it. I never wrote to him, and I didn't even get to meet him at Glastonbury. It's probably for the best, though, because I'd probably have tried to snog him!
When was the last time you stole something?
It was about two years ago--I was in dire need of a bathrobe, so I stole one from a hotel. It's probably the only thing I've ever stolen, and I felt really bad about it. Steve Lamacq asked me the same question about two weeks after I took it. When I told him, he looked quite shocked and appalled. It was a marvelous bathrobe, though, very luxurious.
Would you ever accept £1 million to never set foot in Britain again?
No. Money's not that important to me. Have I got loads of it already? I don't know, I haven't been home to find out, maybe there's a huge pile of it waiting for me on the doorstep at home! I know it's a truism, but I genuinely believe that money is the root of all evil.
Melody Maker
August 16, 2000
On the Turn: Trevor Baker (words)

He-ey!

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